


Together

by aislingdoheanta



Series: Robert Week 2018 [7]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 01:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15961643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: After the events with Lachlan, Robert agrees to go to counseling.Written for Day Seven of Robert Week - “ Write a scene/story about a topic you’d wish Emmerdale would give to Robert.”





	Together

**Author's Note:**

> So this is something I’ve been thinking about pretty much since Robert got shot and basically… walked it off? Like… after a slight panic attack at the hospital he was just totally fine. I personally think that Robert might have some form of PTSD or trauma related anxiety which is why he avoids discussing anything either obsesses over or throw himself into another problem. Or, you know, self destructs. But as I’m not a mental health professional, just someone who struggles with her own, I could be wrong. I just would love Emmerdale to give Robert something to work with (selfishly because I love Ryan and think he'd do brilliant with it and because I feel like Robert hasn't had a chance to really deal with anything that's happened to him on screen). 
> 
> This week has been so fun and I can't believe I wrote over 10k for this week alone. (That's crazy to me!) I'm so grateful to all you who've read these fics and commented/kudus/sent messages. You have been so wonderful and I appreciate it so much. Hopefully you'll see me around a bit in the future yet, and don't hesitate to reach out if you have a prompt or idea or question or just want to see more of something I've already written. I swear I will love you forever if you do!
> 
> Come say "hi!" (or send prompts) on [tumblr!](http://saras-almanac.tumblr.com/ask)

“How did it go?” Aaron asked him as soon as he came home from the scrapyard and found Robert sitting on their bed. Robert had finally agreed to go and talk to Aaron’s counsellor. After the seizure and the entire Lachlan ordeal, Robert had finally relented that maybe, just maybe, he should go and talk to someone.

As much as the prospect of opening himself up to someone he didn’t know terrified him, he couldn’t turn Aaron away when he’d held Robert tightly and cried over how he’d been so terrified he’d lost Robert and that he couldn’t watch Robert go through that again because he wasn’t slowing down.

“All right,” Robert said. “I’m going again later this week.”

“That’s good, innit?” Aaron asked, carefully sitting on the edge of the bed. He set his hand on top of Robert’s leg.

Robert shrugged. “I don’t know. I think she thinks there’s something seriously wrong with me.”

“Well, if there is, we’ll figure it out, yeah?” Aaron asked him.

“Yeah.”

“Vic’s keeping Seb overnight,” Aaron told him. “Why don’t I get us some dinner and we’ll just have a quiet night.”

Robert nodded.

Aaron got up to kiss his cheek. “I’m really proud of ya.”

Robert nodded again and watched as Aaron left the room. He let out a breath and felt his throat burn as he held back tears. He felt raw and jagged in a way he hadn’t felt before. He hadn’t told Aaron that his counsellor had recommended him to someone else because she worried that he might have a more serious condition underneath his fears and worries and anxieties.

* * *

“Hiya,” Aaron said, coming into the flat and finding Robert on the sofa.

“Hi,” Robert said.

“How was it today?” Aaron asked as he sat next to Robert.

Robert sighed.

“I know it can be rough,” Aaron said. “But it’ll get easier.”

“He thinks I might have PTSD, or subthreshold PTSD,” Robert said quietly.

“He?”

“I was referred to a PTSD specialist or whatever. He’s who I saw today,” Robert told him.

“And he thinks you might have PTSD?” Aaron asked him. 

“Yeah. Or subthreshold PTSD,” Robert told him. 

“What’s that mean?” 

“Just that I might suffer from some symptoms of PTSD, but maybe not enough of them to classify having PTSD. Or something like that anyway,” Robert said. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were referred to a specialist?” Aaron asked.

Robert shrugged. “I thought if I didn’t talk about it, it might not be serious.” _Another avoidance technique._

“It might not be,” Aaron said.

“It is,” Robert said.

“It it because of Lachlan or the seizure stuff?” Aaron asked.

Robert huffed a laugh and shook his head. “He’s got no idea what caused it. He thinks it’s probably a delayed version of PTSD, maybe brought on by the Lachlan stuff.”

“Well, what could it be from?” Aaron asked.

“Mum’s death. Max’s death. My being outed and my dad’s reaction when I was a child. My shooting. Getting hit by a car,” Robert listed off, setting his head back on the back of the sofa. “It’d probably be easier to list the things that _weren’t_ directly traumatic.”

“But… you were all right after all that,” Aaron said.

“Yeah, well, I had to be, didn’t I?” Robert asked. “Dad wouldn’t talk about mum, let alone let me keep blaming Andy. So I buried it. When I was sent away after Max’s death, I couldn’t dwell on anything because I had to find a place to stay and a job. And then I buried it all because I didn’t think I’d ever come back. And then Katie’s death happened and I couldn’t worry about that because Andy was falling apart and you were in bits. Not to mention, when I did tell Andy, he tried to have me killed. I got shot and it was all about finding out who did it and then your mum stabbed Diane. Just so many other things to focus on.”

“So you buried everything?” Aaron asked.

Robert nodded. “It was easier that way. And there was always someone else to worry about.”  

“Robert,” Aaron said softly and reached out for his hand. “I had no idea.”

“Neither did I,” Robert said. “He says that I probably suspected, in my mind or whatever, which is why I keep throwing myself into so much stuff.”

“Like the wedding and finding Rebecca?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah.”

Aaron sighed. “Well, it’s better to know, right?”

Robert shrugged. “It’s just another thing I have to deal with now.”

“Oi, _we_ deal with,” Aaron said. “We’re a family, remember?”

Robert nodded and his eyes burned with tears. “Yeah.”

“Hey,” Aaron said and wrapped his arm around Robert to pull him in. “It’ll be all right.”

Robert leaned into Aaron’s chest and practically breathed him in. “What if it’s not though? What if I can’t get better? What if I’m always like this?”

“Like what?”

“So terrified of facing anything that I just bury it and throw myself into things until I practically kill myself,” Robert said. “I don’t want to go through that again.”

“I don’t want you to either,” Aaron said. “We’ll figure it out. Now that we know what we’re looking for, we’ll be able to stop it.”

“What if I can’t?” Robert whispered.

“Then… I guess I’ll have to tie you to the bed and distract ya,” Aaron said.

Robert laughed. “That doesn’t sound like the worst thing.”

“I mean it,” Aaron said. “Whatever we have to do, we’ll do it, yeah?”

Robert nodded. “Don’t tell anyone yet.”

“Vic and Liv will be worried about ya,” Aaron said. “So will mum and Diane.”

Robert shook his head. “I want to know what’s going on before we tell everyone else. Please, Aaron.”

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you want.”

“Thanks,” Robert said.

“So… when’s your next appointment?” Aaron asked.

“Next week,” Robert said.

“You want me to take you?” Aaron asked. “I don’t have to go into the room if you don’t want, but it was easier for me when I was first starting to have you there or at least in the car with me on the way home.”

Robert nodded. “Yeah. I think so. At least driving with me.”

“Anything you want, Rob,” Aaron promised.

“Thank you,” Robert said softly, tucking his head under Aaron’s chin. He just wanted to lay here with his husband and pretend like everything was fine.

Aaron just tightened his arms around him, shifting them so they were laying together on the sofa. He pressed his lips to Robert’s temple and just held him for a minute. “I love you.”

Robert nodded and whispered, “Love you more.”

 


End file.
